How to Deal with People

In the Hadith of Abu Bakrah (ra) in the Sahih of Imam Bukhari:

أنه انتهى إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وهو راكع فركع قبل أن يصل إلى الصف فذكر ذلك للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال زادك الله حرصا ولا تعد.

Abu Bakrah was so eager to join the congregational Salaah that he started and then performed rukooh before actually being in any of the sufoof. Then he, while in the bowing (rukoo) position, walked to join the sufoof, which is the incorrect manner of joining the congregation as a latecomer. The Prophet (saw) recognised his eagerness so he (saw) praised Abu Bakrah for it by making du’a for him. However, the Prophet (saw) pointed out to him that this was the incorrect manner to express his eagerness.

Imam Muslim narrates that Muawiyah b. Hakam Radi Allah anh said:

ما رأيت معلمًا قبله ولا بعده أحسن تعليماً منه.

صلوات ربي وسلامه عليه.

Look at the gentleness of the Prophet (saw). This is with the Salaah and it’s a big mistake. Yet, he (saw) didn’t shout or rebuke him, as we do with our students and young ones.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t rebuke, rather we look at each person’s situation and, where possible, we are gentle.

Hate the Sin and Not the Sinner

Shaykh ’Uthaymeen, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:

“When they see a person sinning, many brothers hate the sin and this is something correct, but they [also] hate the sinner, and then they deal with him harshly as someone who hates him would, like someone who wants to take revenge on him, and this is a huge mistake.

You must cure the sinner as a gentle doctor who treats a wound in order for it to heal does, he doesn’t treat the wound in order for it to get worse, so he treats this person with gentleness and a desire for good for him and out of mercy for him … this is how the scholars who nurture are, they look at the creation with a view to reform, not to seek revenge and out of hatred—I hate the sin which this person does, but this person is a believer so he is my brother, even if he fornicated and stole, he is still my brother, the believers are but brothers.”

[Majmoo’ Fataawaa wa Rasaa’il Fadilatish-Shaikh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-’Uthaimeen, vol. 27, pp. 311-312]

Ramadaan Series {Day 30} – Things We Need to Continue Doing After Ramadaan

The good habits that we developed we need to continue to work on them and persevere in them. For example:

  • Praying salaah in the musjid (especially Esha and Fajr)
  • To read Qur’an every single day
  • To continue with night prayer and make du’a in our sujood.
  • To make du’a every day that Allah keeps us on the Straight Path
  • To check ourselves on a daily basis and accuse ourselves of the sins we have committed and repent from them.
  • To continue working on our character by pinpointing what can be improved about ourselves and working on it.
  • To read and ponder over the Qur’an. To learn a portion of it by heart and recite it in our prayers. To also apply it to our lives as much as possible.
  • To ensure all the fard duties are completed on time and to the best of our ability.
  • To continue to give charity every single day
  • To continue building our relationship with Allah by learning about Him. Knowing who He is through His Lofty names and attributes. Using those names in du’a to call upon Him.
  • To continue praying extra salaah such as the 12 Sunnah and qiyaam.
  • To fast regularly such as Mondays and Thursdays and the three white days of the month.
  • To make du’a regularly and during special times.
  • To appreciate what we have.
  • To eat less and not over indulge.
  • To try and finish the Qur’an minimum once a month which is a juz (chapter) a day.
  • To memorise more and ponder over the words of Allah.
  • To encourage family to do the same.
  • To make du’a your Ramadaan is accepted and to make du’a you reach the next Ramadan.
  • To lower your gaze.
  • Longer sujoods.
  • Have a separate portion for contemplation of the Qur’an even if it’s just a Verse a day.

Ramadaan Series {Day 29} – Finish Ramadan Strong

Ibn al-Jawzi (rh) said:

“When the race horse knows that it is nearing the end of the track it exerts all of its effort to win the race. Do not allow the race horse to be more clever than you. For verily, deeds are judged by their conclusions. So, if you didn’t do well with welcoming Ramadan then perhaps you will do better bidding it farewell.”

Ibn Taymiyyah (rh) said:

“The lesson lies in perfection of the conclusion of a thing, not in the shortcomings of the beginning of it.”

Hasan al-Basri said:

“Improve your performance in what is left (of time) and you will be forgiven for that which has already passed. So, take special care of the time you have left because you do not know when your soul will be turned over to Allah’s Mercy.”

Ramadaan Series {Day 28} – Hide Your Good Deeds as You Hide Your Sins

When hiding your deeds, Allah will expose them to reveal the good side of a person.

The person who does good deeds for the people, his good deeds have no value and will have no effect.

To test yourself: look at how you are in public, in private, when people are asleep or when you are alone.

Some would fast for 40 years and their own wives wouldn’t even know about it. They would take the lunch she made and give it to the poor.

Keep the good deeds you are doing like Qiyaam, fasting, weekly charity, and do it in private after Ramadan.

Ramadaan Series {Day 26} – How to Make the Most of the Last Ten Nights

The following will, insha’Allah, help someone make the absolute most of these blessed nights.

– The time for laylatul Qadr is from Maghrib until Fajr.

– Get rid of distractions during the day including phone calls, bills etc.

– Sleep after Dhuhr so you’re fresh at night.

– Ask family if they need anything before Maghrib and sort it out then so you can dedicate the night to Allah.

– Try to leave the phone off as much as possible: you’re trying to get 1,000 months worth of good deeds!

– Have a quick suhoor with dates and water and if not, then anything else will do.

– Go to the Musjid for salah, home is better for women. Do adkhar after salah fully and then pray the Sunnah.

– Come home after salaah and avoid pleasure eating. Eat less these days and you’ll see you can cry so much more in your du’a and sujood.

A number of the scholars like Anas ibn Malik would say there is a type of night prayer between Maghrib and Esha so pray at that time. Give charity at this time too whether it’s online or some other way. Give someone a reminder even via text and text relatives. These are all good deeds.

Make sure you make the intention to sit in itikaaf, as according to the majority there is no set time, then go to the Musjid and stay there from Esha till tarawih. Concentrate totally in salah and stay with the imam, whether he prays 11, 20 or whatever other amount of rakah so you get the reward for praying the whole night!

Come home and spend the rest of the night in du’a, dhikr, Qur’an and optional prayers.

Dhikr includes salat upon the Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم , SubhanAllah, Alhumdulillah, Allahuakbar, istighfaar, SubhanAllah wa bihamdihi, and everything else you know.

In the time just before Fajr, do lots of istighfar and du’a.

After tarawih, some musjids offer Qiyam Ul layl; go to this if you can, especially if you don’t think you can do the same amount at home or will be lazy.

Do not take a long time with your suhoor and iftar, during these ten days sacrifice your food!

Finally, forgive anyone that has done anything bad to you in your du’a. Imagine if you were to die, what would you have wanted to achieve? Sweetness in the prayer? A legacy? Hajj? In your du’a ask for anything and everything, now is the time to ask.

Please forward as most don’t know what they are supposed to do or end up wasting time doing other things.